Dealing with Criticism
A few years ago I couldn't deal with criticism at all. Perhaps because I always put so much effort into everything that I felt unappreciated if I was criticised. I would start crying when I misspelt 'sandwich' in the spellling Bee or my Hindi grammar was not up to par. Dealing with criticism has always been a challenge for most people. That is perhaps why it is considered 'ill manners' to tell someone how ugly that colour is or how they should consider avoiding huge necklaces.
Another thing is understanding what criticism is. Yelling at someone from a biased perspective is not criticism. Criticism is giving feedback and pointing out the not-so-great areas from an aware and neutral perspective.
Taking criticism I've learned is an art of its own. Worst case situations include taking it personally, snapping back, feeling hurt and giving up on your work. Don't take someone else's view of your work as higher than your own. Take the best of the criticism. What makes sense ? What will actually improve the work? Take that. Also, when asking for feedback choose the person carefully. Generally, someone you are not too close too but is an acquaintance is best. They will give you honest feedback but won't let any bias creep in.
Worst case situations also tend to arise when we deep-down know that the criticism holds water. When asking for feedback don't expect applause if you know that your work wasn't your absolute best.
Putting that aside, I have often noticed people criticising themselves, which is great . Keep yourself on your toes. But, sometimes it gets a bit sentimental. 'My work will not be nice . I can't write properly. I don't have that it factor' This is not only incredibly hard to respond too, but is also a defense tactic. The person is aware that the work is not his best and covers it up by making himself a victim of poor writing skills. Self-deprecation in general is something I find very awkward. The audience is expected to say something reassuring or be compelled to watch the person make a sad face.
Self-help by Anjali. ;)
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