The Disobedience Factor
Here's a tip for teachers, from a student's point of view.
When you instruct, command or request something don't bother continuing. Instructing , commanding and requesting is exactly what doesn't work for us. We like having choice and everytime you add new parameters to your request it makes us that much more likely to try and push the boundaries.
Do you actually think teenagers like staying up all night? No! It's horrible. My eyes start burning by 11 and it's dark and alone. But when you say, "Good girls wake up early" it either adds pressure that we HAVE to do this or we feel like Well, I won't!
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| Listening to rules - (Shakti Indrajit, Dachshund - Niveditha Indrajit 's companion) |
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| Just curious about the camera? I don't know what she is trying to do here |
If you let teenagers make mistakes without punishment, they will figure out what works for them. Teenagers are smart and know what's going on, they are not blind people you need to guide through life. Sure, our hormones are haywire but we are also at the peak of our intellectual ability.
Teachers, when you make it a double-sided coin saying 'You never finish your notes, how will you pass?', 'You keep making mistakes', 'What will the principal say to you?' you are shirking off a little responsibility there. You need to make us feel that you are with us in this. That you have an equal share in our work. That we are a team, helping each other reach the top. We don't reach the top to increase your credibility. We do it because we enjoy that feeling of success. Be part of it, not against it!
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Interesting thoughts. The first principle in people management is that man by nature likes to feel that he has control (or choice). And good man managers use that well and present the task in a manner in which the person feels he or she has a choice to do it is his or her way. No option is a direct invitation to rebel which leads to passive aggressive behavior. A classic quote here - tell a man what to do and not how to do and he will work miracles. The choice of 'how' makes them feel involved.
ReplyDeleteThe second aspect of guiding without overt punishment is also an interesting one and requires much patience and love. To make mistakes is human and the way to correct is by self-realisation which needs space. A punishment is like atonement or a confession and we are ready to commit it again. I rememebr my good pal Sanjay Gabriel who would put up with the most savege beatings by a cane (even wearing several underwear to protect his backside) but never reformed - for him it became a symbol of resistance. So you do have a point there. Hopefully it can be discussed with your teachers. I do wish they have Student Teacher meetings like PTAs. Maybe the students union can do it next year.
I also like the third point - are you feeling like you are with us or have you left us alone after teaching us. It is normal for teachers to use fear to make students more careful and aware, but perhaps another route can also be explored. A more secure, loving, patient route where we say, we are going to be with you until you get this right. Like Churchill said -however long, however hard - or something like that.
Nice man/woman management principles to discuss. Do keep sharing perspectives Anjali.