Need for Approval

 Exams came around again. This year I studied consistently, and frankly I enjoyed studying! Using highlighters, making notes, drawing diagrams, pretty fun if you think about it! I didn't sacrifice Catan (a board game I play with Chechi, more on that later) and had fun also! I went through question banks, watched videos, etc. Pro tip: The given textbook is the bible, everything else is supplementary only. 

We were giving exams at school! It was a lot of fun and I thought I crushed the exams! I had fun, played board games throughout and killed it! Could I be any happier?

Especially with Mathematics. Last year, in the Grade 8 final exam, I saw a problem that I couldn't solve, panicked and lost 5 marks. I lost out to Apurva, who killed it by the way :)

This time, Maths had made me very nervous because of the last paper. I studied very hard this time. The whole paper was a breeze until I came to No 16! I panicked for a good 10 minutes. That numbness overcame me. But, I had evolved. I managed to regain my composure. I breathed and I solved the problem, slowly! I was elated when I came home. Even if I tanked the rest of the paper, I was proud of myself. I had overcome my demon. 


It was after exams and we were back to classes. We had various classes and I realised that my amazing achievement was only Amazing to me. No one else really cared that much about this stuff, not my teachers, not my friends. I felt that numbness again. I realised that I should be doing this for me, not for the smiles on other people's faces! The smile on my face should be enough! I worked hard, dang it! :P 


Who are you doing things for? Does it put a smile on your face?

Comments

  1. Harimohan12 August 2021 at 14:13

    I think it's a big moment Anjali - the insight when you feel you can get over your panic, breathe, get control back and then deliver it right. Its stuff I felt when in tight situations in matches, at work, even at that TED talk, when a moment of panic almost ruins all your preparation. Then you hold yourself and pull back. Its a brilliant thing and from one who has been there to another - its huge stuff. One feeling you can always go back to when you feel that way. Well done!
    And yes, it always puts a smile on my face. A knowing smile - something only I know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Abhinay Renny12 August 2021 at 14:37

    Yes miss A. I'm learning to do work that put a smile on my face :D

    ReplyDelete

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