Anecdotes and Realizations

 and everyone's looking all concerned at the mess left by a few broken words and i wasn't supposed to let her in my head but what could i have done instead? and my sister's all worried she wants me to get help and my parents' are all blurry they don't know what they said and my friends do they know we aren't friends anymore? and myself does she know i don't like her anymore? because when the pain, it doubles down,  i can't hear a single sound so i did what i had to do to make it all easier for you and trust me, i wouldn't say it if i could keep it for a minute in and now i'm finally learning that some people don't change but there's a scorpion in my life and she stings me everytime and it's time for me to hop  out of her control so i'm taking my life back and i'm trying to fix the cracks but i'll see you on the other side and i won't look to my side

 You're yelling again And they said it's alright You're in a mood So we'll pack up and move for the night You can get mad, without being told to calm down You can be rude, without a consequence, boys will be boys You can be half-decent, and get a standing ovation You can be irritated, without being asked about your period You can be upset, without being called dramatic You can be accomodated, without working at all You don't have to be the very best to get your rights You don't have to be the kindest to be liked You don't have to lose your dignity to get that praise from work You don't have to run at top speed just to be laughed at You don't have to apologise, for just doing your job You don't have to step down, everytime someone's uncomfortable You don't have to understand this, because you were born a boy

 you said we were friends you said you were friends why'd you have to go and meddle next year, you said we'd be fine you said we'd last a very long time you lied then, you couldn't take it anymore my patience seemed to have no impact you broke and you made it my fault and everyone you stole then after the seven hundredth apology from the wrong side you took it too far and you left a huge scar and i'm not going to apologise this time  for being hurt  and no it's not a two-way street and no i'm not being melodramatic i'm tired of your stupid narratives i have my own pen and i'll write it you don't get to win everytime if i don't play your games, you can't commit your crimes and now i'm walking to bad blood at home and i'm trying to find a way not to complain cause i'm the nice girl the one with a heart but what'd you expect when you left it in pieces? and sure, i'm a girl i'm melodramatic, i'm tightly wound , i...

Have I been put in a rat race One with endless mice All just like the others Blinders on both sides I'm so sick of running as fast as I can Haven't taken a breath in a while When was the last time I looked to my side At the remnants of the people I liked I don't know how to escape these walls How does a locksmith break his own lock And everybody's trying to get in my head But if I give in, will I give up? I can't find the path to a happy life One with light I only know how to run all the time If I stopped, would I be able to start again?