Body Image

Bodies. Such a big part of our social profile but one over which we have the least control. As soon as we see something, we feel like sharing our Vishesh Tippani. We feel that the world will be left in a sorry, despondent state unless we heroically step in and tell them what we think about it. We feel that telling people exactly what we think about their life is an act of grace. We are after all doing it with good intentions. 

Look, I get it. In prehistoric times, if you were looking for a partner, a ripped,six-foot man would have been useful to protect you from well, being eaten by a bear, a mammoth, or whatever was around back then. But today, when the biggest threat from the wild is mosquitoes and where we can protect ourselves, perhaps a spouse could be someone more than a weapon. 

Everybody's looking for that ripped, six-pack, muscled-up guy or that flat-stomached, heavy-breasted girl. Your beauty is relative to whatever people hold as the most beautiful in the world. The idea of beauty is different in each person is obscure to many. "Hot or not?", "Geek to Gorgeous" and "Braces to Beauty" are some supremely poetic examples used to shatter people's self-worth. Anybody without that daisy-white smile, hourglass figure, or bubble butt is not beautiful. 

In a world where all the magazine covers, Instagram feeds, music videos and movies give us a ready-to-treat-as-social-standard model of what a "hot" body is and what people desire, it can be difficult to look in the mirror and be okay with your body. Even in movies, (any chance to cite my love-hate relationship with KKHH), such as Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Anjali in tracksuits, short hair, headbands, and confidence was not attractive to our dear Rahul. But the second she put on that sari, opened her hair, and started showing off her figure, Uncle Ji went ga-ga.

And the funny thing with body shaming is that even the people with the "perfect" bodies feel less than others. Every uncle and aunty is trying to lose weight, trying out crazy diets, or making self-deprecating comments about their belly fat. And what do all parents do when they cannot process their own feelings? That's right! Take it out on your children! Or other people's children or anyone else really. And hence is sown the generational seed of trauma and a lifetime of being uncomfortable in your own skin.

 My experience with my body image has been outright confusing. As a baby, I was new to the world. For nine months my reality had been to sit in my own pee. And the second I pop out what do I hear - "such a chubby baby". Surprised my first word wasn't "Miwe Your Busiwess".

But the chubbiness did not last. I grew up. But I was never the tall one at school. I was almost always the shortest in class and my classmates didn't forget to remind me. Constantly wanting to grow taller, I would do "Thaadasan" ( which is a yoga pose involving stretching your hands above your head and basically stretching your body like a rubber band) every morning. But at the same time, one of my relatives said to me, an eleven-year-old, "Don't grow too tall. Won't find a husband". Hot damn! The most important thing in my life at the time was winning Cricket Attax, but aunty had progressed to marriage! Indians are true jewels.

And then Instagram happened. All the people in my class are beautiful of course, but all the girls have body types slimmer than mine. I couldn't look at my own belly fat in the mirror and would not eat sweets and happiness. I used to work out but saw no results. I waited on my "Glow-Up", my "Body Transformation" but it wasn't coming. Exercising and eating healthy are great, but what we don't realize is not all fit people look the same. You can have the exact same exercise regime and diet but still, look different. And once again, to bring some spice into my life, my relatives told me to eat more. They asked me whether I was eating anything. A relative called me fat and then said that it was funny because I was very thin. 

Everybody doesn't agree on their beauty standards either. At school, I was the slightly chubby, short girl and at home, I was the too-tall, thin girl. God! I wish they would just pick a side. If somebody asks me why I was body-shamed, what will I say? Because I was fat and thin and short and tall. Yep. Final answer.

It was difficult. It is difficult to look in the mirror and not list all my flaws. To not criticize that bit of fat, to not stare menacingly at my thighs, and to not look with disgust at my pimpled face. But it is important to think of yourself as desirable. Not in the eyes of other people. As Mansi told me a quote she read somewhere - " I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am". So please, people, love yourselves. No one else will. 

It sounds sad, but it's not. If you let your importance be decided by what 'log' say, you're giving your power away. You can do it! Look in the mirror and say - " Damn, I look incredible "