Ghosts

 I thought I'd sown up all the tears in my blue dress

I'd used thread made of shining pure salt

It took me months to repair, their nails were so sharp,

and now I'm sitting wondering what the point was

I thought I had made the taps all leak-proof

I double-checked and triple-checked so many times

But then I woke up one day and felt the world slide

Like everyone was moving and I was left behind

I thought that the skeletons of my past would die

I never thought they could climb out from a grave so deep

Then why is it that suddenly I feel like I'm the creep

Why does the look of my face disgust me?

I thought I'd got my restart

I thought I could abandon all the ghosts of my past

But here they are again, shining in my face

I don't know if I'm confused or silently weeping in pain

And all I want to know is - was it my fault?

Was it my fault that caused the earth to crack?

Are these little lies from a darker source

Or is this as far as my shallow heart goes?

And everybody tries to solve my problems so I stopped

I can't be weak, that'll break my soul again

They used to call me 'sensitive' for crying as a child

So I stopped, now where the hell am I?

I don't know where my friends have disappeared

Did they really leave or am I the one who pushed them away?

My mother's the only one who knows no one stayed

Was I born this way or did the world change me?

Did I hear people wrong or did they really wrong me?

And I'd rather be right than have people who love me

And I'd rather cry than live with myself again

And I'd rather die than to be alone again