Boards are Coming!

 Hear ye hear ye! The boards are coming and there's no stopping them anymore. The life purpose for all children Indian, the only reason we were put in school for the 10 years before this and the examination for the value of our lives so far. We grew up in our simple schools - studying for the sake of parental validation and not getting yelled at. In 9th grade, we laughed about the importance given to these god-forsaken exams and tittered about the stress our teachers and seniors were under.

And now, we repent. The boards seem to have a symbolic meaning to the Indian population. Sort of like a growing of age. Its like a Robert Frost poem. It could have just been a homeless guy lost in the woods or it could be the "contemplation of man's relationship with nature and societal pressure". This exam seems to be our crossroad, except there's no GPS, it's a one-way road, and choosing the wrong road is the end of your life. The fear of the board itself is secondary, in comparison to the fear of "deciding your future". Makes sense. Give the power to "decide your future" to a bunch of 15-year-olds. We can't decide on whether its GIF or JIF (its GIF, don't fight me please) but we have to decide our career and life forever .

And this is because no one prepared us for this. Nobody gave us importance, or valued our opinions, or gave us this much responsibility before. It was like turning the knob on the gas-stove. As the months went by, I stared at the boiling pot of my life as relatives, friends, parents, teachers, youtubers and career counselors jumped up and down excitedly. 

akela is concerned

10th grade has been a race I could not win. However hard you work, how many ever tests you write, how many ever late nights you stay awake for, how many ever books you devour, you're always behind. And it doesn't help when you see your friends jumping ahead, prioritising "productivity" or whatever and seeing results. Open YouTube and everybody's yelling at me - "No Time to Waste!", "STUDY 8 HOURS A DAY!", "Motivational Video - Must Watch", " How I got 99% in my Boards" and "Study 10 chapters in 10 hours!" are some of the many many titles bombarding my screen. It reinforces the feeling of inadequacy and failure that my poor self-esteem cannot handle.

Teachers are yet another comically depressing aspect of the 10th grade life. They are extremely on edge and never know the right thing to say. They have good intentions, but don't handle their own stress well. We get to hear things like "This marksheet is for the rest of your life", "Why do you want to play now?", "11th grade will be much worse" and "You can't afford to waste one minute.". Yes, the preboards and the tests and the notes and the assignments were not giving us enough tanav. Thanks!

As we approach the run-up to the boards, my sleep schedule has been flipped on its head. 10.30 to 5.30 sleep, school, eat, study, sleep. It gets exhausting. But if I miss a day, I won't be able to handle the avalanche. 

Here's a message to my fellow tenth graders. Life is tough, people are weird and it's not going to get easier in the next few months. Just remember that all of you are smart, capable and worth it. This exam is not the representation of your value as a human, and no matter what happens, we'll make it. 

Also its GIF.