An Year in Retrospect

 It's been eight months since I last wrote a blog. I've barely written anything this year, apart from schoolwork, helping friends with their write-ups or IP articles. This year has been full of laughter, life, dancing, singing, winning, trying new things, putting myself out there, getting confident, talking to new kinds of people and seeing incredible things. But when I see the year-end reels and the gratitude messages, I find it all a little misleading. This year was painful at times. There were a lot of anxious nights and moments of self-doubt. There were times I wondered what I was doing here and whether there was hope for tomorrow. 

Everyone is writing resolutions for 2024. "In 2024, I'll be happy" "In 2024, I'll exercise" "In 2024 I'll find my soulmate" We assume that we have it in our hands to make the next year perfect. Last New Year's Eve I sat crying at 12 AM worrying about my boards and hoping 2023 would be better. 2023 has not been uphill but I'm starting to realise that that's alright. 

Life is not easy. It's full of struggle. Anger, sadness, jealousy, disgust, pain, love. That's how life works. Chasing happiness will only lead us to disappointment because joy is not a permanent state of mind, it isa  feeling. Feelings are fleeting. With every new emotion is a new beautiful experience. 

January 

January feels like a whole person ago. I was at some sort of creative peak at that time. I remember picking up one piece of charcoal and going nuts on our back wall. I worried whether it would wash off in the rain. It didn't. Not in one shower atleast. It's faded, but it's still there.

January also marked the Hyderabad Lit Fest. We met a lot of amazing people there. I didn't think Vidya Ranya was going to be an important part of my life then. Some of my closest friends are from there now. I remember loitering in the art gallery with Abhinay and lying to a couple volunteers about our names.

February

Boards. Boards. Boards. Many a sleepless night. I was restless before every board exam. So, as a way to calm down, my dad and I started half an hour earlier and drove around the nooks and crannies of SriNagar colony or occassionaly tankbund listening to music and talking about life. 

Feb also had our school farewell. Quite a full-circle moment from organising a farewell to getting one from ourselves. We all went out to Comic Social after. 

It's amusing to think of how Shubham Pathak videos, RD Sharma and reference books were my whole life back then. I spent a lot of time in Chechi's house studying and watching TV. My aunt would wake up to me drooling on to my EduCart book with a Vedantu video humming in the background.

I also remember going to school during the preparation holidays with Mansi, Shripad, Prajwal, Saketh and Yasvantt. We'd sit in our school library and study. Occassionally play football outside or just chit chat.

I also went to Sloka's wedding. My aunt and I attended Kenny Sebastian's live show at Shilpa Kala Vedika.

March

We used to play a lot of TelePhone at this point. Chechi's birthday was a fun night-out. I gave her a collage of horrible photos of her. She didn't like it very much but she has it in her room all the same.

I also got onto Shubham Pathak's leaderboard in her live quizzes. It was a big moment for me.

At this point, I really struggled to stay focused. I started going to the park every day. I'd sit there and study or listen to music. I really enjoyed those days.

Once our boards ended, I had a couple weeks to myself before Obul began. I started an art history course, I played Call of Duty, I exercised. It was a lovely time. Chechi, Papa and I went to KBR. 

April

It was end of March when me and Mansi went on our big dream vacation. The two of us, with my parents went to Pune. I got to show her all the little things I loved about Pune - the cafes, the tiny colonies, Aaji's house, my family, the people. We had quite a blast. From the train rides, to me reading Save the Cat in one sleepless night, to shopping in Camp, to Marzorin, to trekking at Vetal Tekdi with my aunt and uncle, I'll never forget that trip. 

Anita aunty took our batch out for dinner afterward to Jubilee Hills Club. Obul started. It was all brand-new and the sheer number of new faces intimadated me for a long time. I began talking to people and making friends. Aditi, Annika and Saakshi were among the first few close ones I spoke to. Classes were fun and arguments in Political Science class were interesting.

May

Summer was incredible. Taher's birthday at home. Trips to Toops with my camera and cousins. Flying to Bombay. Spending time with Khayaal and Miskil. Watching the Sound of Music live. Bumping into Vidya Balan. Meeting Harsh and wandering around Churchgate with him. Getting a camera from Satish mama and photography tuitions. Family gatherings in Pune with badminton and late night karaoke. Malay Dada's family constellation and Sushi afterwards.

Tank Bund with Satish Mama. Breaking a plate at Green Park hotel. Ramoji Film City with baba and Satish mama. Charminar mornings with Sunnie Mama. Meeting the Nargundkars. Table tennis in the Community Hall.

Catching up with Nivi Aunty and family. 

June

I began going on more solo outings in June. I went out to Cafe Coffee Day and loitered in Himalaya Bookstore every other week.

School began again. I had my first photography event at school as Graduation Day. I met Abhi there for the first time. Kaniyan convinced me to apply for Council which ended up with me as an editor. 

July

Investiture ceremony happened. Prajwal and I went to Drugam Cheruvu on a photography breakfast date. I went to Barbie and Chechi moved back in upstairs. The Pinocchio trend was born.

August

We had a poetry night at home back in August. Taher, Sagar Mama, Abhinay and I read out poetry we'd written. I went to a Life Skills Summit at Silver Oaks. I participated in a Nukkad Naatak there and met a couple kids from different schools. 

Ranjan mama passed away. That sting in my heart never goes away when I think about it. 

Ananya and I went out for coffee. Independence Day reunited us Daksha fellows briefly. 

The Six Sigma Fest happened at school and our group had a blast. I calligraphy-ed a bunch of bookmarks, drank soda and laughed, but we made some money on the way. 

Yugen was easily the highlight of the month.  I prepped a week in advance and had butterflies in my stomach. When there's considerable dearth of boys in your life, why not get butterflies for public speaking? The first day I felt intimidated by how confident some people were how it seemed easier for eveyone else. But on the second day, the fuck it attitude kicked in. I spoke, I argued, I ended up with a Special Mention. If Yugen didn't happen I would have been a very different person today. 

From getting lost on the way to the Metro with Akshit and Mittansh to Om simping on my dad in the metro, it was a memorable one. 

September

September kicked off with Teachers' Day practise at school. Aryan and I got to work with 9th and 10th graders to come up with a skit. We made some lifelong friends and worked on a Council Dance together. I also danced in the group dance event at school. We didn't come out on top at that event, but the whole process of choreography and practise was too much fun. 

Raksha Bandhan was fun with Chimu getting an Among Us rakhi and the whole family getting together for lunch. Nana's birthday took us out for dinner at a 5-star hotel, where we decided nothing beat Shadab. 

October

My birthday was a highlight that month. Mansi slept over at home, we went for an early morning Tank Bund followed by Minerva. After a few friends came over for a pizza and some coke. 

I went to a Pakistan v Sri Lanka World Cup match at the stadium. 

Our school trip followed. Before the trip I had friends, after I had family. All the way from the plane ride to Delhi, the first bus ride to the hotel, the dancing in the room, the cold crisp Delhi air, the late night chats with Jaithri, the proposal Jaithri planned for me, the failed attempt at making a reel with Aditi, waking Annika up from deep sleep, the 18 hour long bus journey to Dalhousie, buying cold coffee with Abhi, running out into the rain with Aditi, pretending to watch a horror movie, dancing to item songs with Naman DJing, prank calling friends, shivering at the hotel in Dalhousie, Jaithri getting stuck in the bathroom, getting ready the next day, stuffing ourselves into a van with Lakshmi ma'am, taking photos with rabbits, eating Maggi on a hill, buying souvenirs, running down the hill at Khajjiar, buying a frisbee, roaming around the marketplace in Dalhousie, exploring tacky shops, buying shawls without bargaining, eating waffle sticks, losing Annika's phone and then finding it, thums up, driving to Amritsar the next day, seeing the Golden temple, spending 20 minutes in silence with Jaithri, losing a bag of shoes, getting scammed for fridge magnets, eating pani puri with Bhavya, watching the show at Wagah Border, driving overnight to Delhi, seeing Red Fort, sitting with Nikitha at the ferris wheel and my phone dying at the airport. The trip is still a dream to me.

Once we were back, I went to Pallavi MUN while I was home alone. The first day was nerve-wracking and I struggled to feel comfortable. I was nervous and felt out of place. From that to eventually killing my press conference and winning Best Reporter was a confidence boost for life. 

November

Shortly after the Pallavi victory, we had the MUN at BITS. A much larger scale and a much bigger campus, I fondly remember walking down the corridors with Naina, goofing around with Tvisha and Arni in the room and chatting with Nirav in the bus. I also remember stressing to meet deadlines and eventually getting HighCom defeated by my IP mentor. 

Jaithri's birthday was another highlight.

November also had Annual Day. I was given a position of greater authority than normal, as one of the in-charges for the 1st Grade practise. Once again, I was pushed out of my comfort zone. First, I worried as to how I would deal with children, how I would deal with teachers and handle it all. But those two weeks with Geethika, Nirav, Harshal, Jai, Amnayaa and all the others were quite a blast. 

Annual Day itself was extremely exhausting. From a metro ride in the morning and Bondas with Kaniyan, Bhavana and Mahima, I still remember my capable and confident Volunteer Head say "Vaalani Saavani" (Let them Die) at the end of that day. Day 2 I got to photograph the event and enjoyed not having as much work to do. 

December

Daksha's Annual Day happened on the 13th. A fun metro ride with Hasini, a collective roasting of everything at the venue, meeting the teachers backstage, lunch at the mall afterward and a full payment by Shripad. 

16th December took me and Dad to Bangalore for Bandland Rock Festival. Abhi Anna, Nana and I enjoyed a breakfast morning, drove down to the place, ate good burgers, bumped into Rohan Joshi, sang along with the GooGoo dolls, went to a lovely mall near his place, went back for some Deep Purple the next day. 

On the 24th we had an alumni meet at Obul, for which I was a volunteer head. It was fun to interact with old students and see where they'd ended up. Our friend circle went out for icecream after.

A week later we set out to Bangalore again, this time for Shikha's wedding. An incredible car ride there with Gowri Aunty and Raju uncle, last-minute sangeet practise, mehendi, politics with uncles, wearing a Kerala saree, running around last minute, coffee pit stops on the way back.